Karen
by LilyBartAndTheOthers
Summary: It's not an affair or a fling. Just an odd story.


She had never thought it would come to this point. That the situation would slowly slide off of their hands and she would realize, one day, that it was too late. It wasn't an addiction, just a vague sigh of relief that used to brush away her loneliness. For a couple of hours the stir of life seemed to ease her heart and, lost in his arms, she gave up herself to the sweet motion of the night and the silent desires of her soul.

It's only the story of her life and how bright her smiles are when she finds back the comfort of his lips and the warmness of his heart.

She couldn't explain why they had come to this end. Why his hand on her nape had led them to this exact moment when reality hits us and we are breathless; surprised by the truth escaping from our brains, the loudly secrets we don't dare to face. What had happened to them?

It wasn't a need or an affair. Not even a fling. The despair of their eyes and the loss of their breaths kept on shouting out loud it was just an odd story. She didn't pay attention to him until he closed the door behind their intimacy. And the way he used to kiss her shoulder as she succumbed one more time was only there to give a reason to her life. They were just friends; just that.

But the time passed by and her mind didn't realize that the strength she was carrying on had taken possession of their acts. The dizziness of vodka and the fuzzy visions of a night spent in his arms turned, very slowly, into a bewitching passion; a sharp confession she tried to hide. The shame of her feelings, almost impossible, were all of a sudden to clear just to draw a line under him.

Her marriage was breaking apart in spite of her sweet lies. Burning intentions that pushed her towards Stan but the spell had gone away for a very long while. And it was over now. If only she had thought he was the right one once. She wasn't even sure of that.

The rain was pouring on the city as the sun was shining on her heart. The delicate attention of his gaze during a walk through the park or a tender getaway in the darkness of their souls were enough to reassure her troubled conscious until she came back alone to the immensity of her failure and the nothingness of her life. It was only a matter of hours before she smiled to him, firstly mischievously but very soon shyly, and wished she could stay there, not only in her dreams.

She always pretended that something was missing; that the smoke of the cigarette could rock her sensual body and the smell of alcohol rhymed with grace and melancholy. Unless it was just sex appeal and a whirl of confusing feelings that had gone to her head and controlled all her cells. And feed her soft regrets for not having survived to the storm of her life. Even her Jackie bear was unaware of it and she had thought she could easily handle it. Because there was nothing, absolutely nothing.

Her delicate ankle had lost self-confidence from the edge of her high heels and the weight of her silences. You still could notice her weaknesses when he happened to brush her skin and her whole body shivered under the unexpected touch from Will. The way she used to blush when her daydreams had won over reality. Or the last seconds of a gaze, a bit too long, and her eyes started shining as she bit her lower lip bitterly. She didn't understand why she had fallen for him. She didn't understand why she kept on pretending.

She didn't understand anything but still, she couldn't live without him.

One day they'd have to stop for some obscure reasons. Perhaps the same ones that had pushed her in his arms. Her hand would slide softly on his cheek and she would smile at him. It's over, honey. She wouldn't kiss his lips, just stare at him quietly and try to keep in mind all their bright memories. Some time spent together under the pale light of their hearts and she would come back to her previous life a bit damaged but alive. It would just result to be a fantasy; the craziness of a friendship that had crossed the limits. And even though she would never forget him, she would clench her fists and turn the page over her single and true love story.

It's like the petals of a rose that slowly fade and then vanish. A kiss for every second she had to spend with him. The sharpness of those tears she tried to swallow back, consciously. Or the simply touch of her smile against his lips as her fingers joined his and got intertwined. It's every single piece of these things and nothing at the same time. The strength of her wishes and the shyness of her heart. The joy to be with him, the fear to go away. And the scent of his skin, the way she looked at him then whispered to his ear how she would always love him.

But for the moment she just realized it and tried to deal with it. She turned at the corner then entered the building. It wouldn't take very long until she rushed in the office, a wave of happiness passing on her features. She's in love with Will. Of course she wouldn't say a word about it. Grace would be on the phone as he would look at some sketches. She would just smile brightly at him when he looked up and her eyes met his. It would still be pouring outside but it wouldn't matter actually.

There's a flame on her heart that keeps on burning for Will. Unless it's just her life and the person she is.


End file.
